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The Lazy O

I’m up here ta tell y’all somethin’ ’bout brands,
That blackened, burned-on scar on ol’ cowhide.
It took a real artist ta do it right,
An’ make a good mark on an ol’ cow’s side.

Thar were so many styles an’ variations,
Ta all the letters an’ numbers ever known.
So if ya’ didn’t do it jist ’xactly right,
Ya’ ended up with a brand that weren’t yer own.

Say one ranch branded with a Lazy 7,
An’ the neighbor’s cows carried a Lazy L,
The confusion such a thing would often cause,
Sent many ’pokes on an early ride ta hell.

On thet li’l ol’ ranch where I grew up,
Every year at brandin’ time, this I knew:
I was the one ta handle the hot irons,
An I needed help from the whole damn crew.

They had ta hold that calf real still,
I had ta place that iron jist so.
’Cuz we branded all our cattle,
With that now most infamous brand,
The Lazy O.

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Procrastination

Our little ol’ house out back
Stood thar fer year after year.
We all used it every day
Fer our ’business’ without fear.

Then came those hellacious floods,
Think it was in ’91.
After that we had no place
Ta git milk seperatin’ done.

You thought of a different house,
Thet one thet had thet half moon.
Oh, it got washed away, too,

But we had it rebuilt by noon!